Finally, finally something worth watching on CNN since the great Don Lemon left, which means it's time for...
ANNOUNCER: Trump vs. CNN, "Insurrection 2: The Rematch."
So last night, Donald Trump did a town hall on CNN, and it went over as well as a spelling bee hosted by John Fetterman. How dare you laugh at that. First, the standing O.
KAITLAN COLLINS: Former President Donald Trump.
We haven't seen a welcome that warm since someone came to "The View" with two cows and a bag of charcoal, but what a great idea. Have a pro-Trump audience just to make the heads of what's left of the CNN audience explode.
Remember, the only people who watch CNN work for CNN or other media. So seeing people applaud for Trump, that's worse than cheering for Jaws to eat more children. For an hour plus, Trump and his debate opponent, I mean town hall moderator, Kaitlan Collins tangled. He talked and she under-talked.
DONALD TRUMP: To put in seven ballots apiece, and they're all I can...
KAITLAN COLLINS: Mr. President, I have to stop you there because, because there is no evidence that…
DONALD TRUMP: Obama took them, Nixon took them, Reagan took them.
KAITLAN COLLINS: Obama did not take documents.
KAITLAN COLLINS: One question what would happen when you had those documents?
DONALD TRUMP: Can I talk?
KAITLAN COLLINS: Yeah. What's the answer?
DONALD TRUMP: Can I, you mind?
KAITLAN COLLINS: I would like for you to answer the question.
DONALD TRUMP: OK, it's very simple to answer.
KAITLAN COLLINS: That's why I asked it.
DONALD TRUMP: It's very simple to — you're a nasty person, I'll tell you.
Like when Harry met Sally. Val Kilmer had an easier time speaking in the "Top Gun" sequel. He would have laughed. Trump was in front of a sympathetic crowd that laughed at his jokes and applauded his boasts while Collins feebly tried to keep up like a frantic schoolmarm.
She tried to fact-check him on live TV, but with Trump, that's like trying to put socks on an octopus. Collins began by berating Trump for Jan. 6. I wonder, did Trump have to pull it out?
TRUMP CALLS CNN'S KAITLAN COLLINS A ‘NASTY PERSON’ DURING TOWN HALL CLASH
DONALD TRUMP: Oh let me pull it out. I have to pull it out. So if you look at — on Jan. 5, the day before, I said, "Please support our Capitol Police and law enforcement. They are truly on the side of our country. Stay peaceful. Stay peaceful." This was the day before and this was in the form of Twitter. Now I use Truth, Truth Social. I think it's far superior.
Always the promoter, and if you remember, he made a video right outside the Oval Office, and he didn't need a script because he doesn't need scripts like the person who's in there right now.
DONALD TRUMP: And if you remember, I made a video right outside the Oval Office in the Rose Garden, and I'm very proud of that video. I didn't have a script. I don't need scripts like a certain person that's in there right now.
As for E. Jean Carroll, maybe he doesn't know her.
DONALD TRUMP: I don't know her. I never met her. I have no idea who she is... Her dog or her cat was named Vagina.
I'm guessing it was her cat. I mean, it makes more sense. "Hey, Vagina, where did you get the dead mouse?" But is that true? And does it matter? Even if you hate Trump, you got to admit, you just don't get this level of realness from any other candidate.
That's what it boils down to. Americans might find Trump annoying, untrue, or obnoxious, but you know what you're getting and it's firing on all cylinders fast. And people don't want to keep paying twice as much for everything. They just want to feed their families, preferably using a gas stove. They want to live their lives without the intrusion of these miserable elites, and Trump even makes the debt ceiling hilarious.
KAITLAN COLLINS: You once said that using the debt ceiling as a negotiating wedge just could not happen.
DONALD TRUMP: True, that's when I was president.
KAITLAN COLLINS: You said that when you were in the Oval Office. So why is it different now that you're out of office?
DONALD TRUMP: Because now I'm not president.
OCASIO-CORTEZ FUMES AT CNN FOR TRUMP TOWN HALL: ‘SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES’
Can't argue with that, but also, Trump gets the media in a way no other candidate in American history has, which means he knows how to handle the people who lie to us every day. I wish I could get him to talk to my cable company, but the liberal response was as predictable as it was idiotic.
AOC says, "CNN should be ashamed of themselves" for losing control of the town hall. A Daily Beast writer says, "CNN failed journalism and the American public." Well, The Daily Beast does know failed journalism. Everyone there is a failed journalist. Listen to these jackasses.
MSNBC: No surprises and yet it was just, it was a disgraceful performance.
CNN: I'm not going to pretend like it was easy for me to see the former president get this forum tonight to lie to the American people over and over and over again.
SUNNY HOSTIN: I was wondering when he was going to be fact-checked in real time... I think we needed a chyron. This is a lie. This is a lie. This is a lie. This is a lie...
JOY BEHAR: What I didn't know was that the audience would be filled with his cult. I would like to know if CNN was passing out Kool-Aid before the event started.
You know, usually to hear such inspired criticism, you have to watch an episode of "Dancing with the Stars." So they're surprised it's contentious. They're outraged he answered their questions. They're offended that he wouldn't back down. How stupid are these people? It's exactly what everyone would expect. It's as if the media has never heard of Trump before.
It's like they'd be surprised if he ate pasta with his hands or bragged about his penis at a funeral. That's how in-sync they are with Biden. Now they have short-term memory loss. It's like they'd be surprised to find out the buildings were named after Trump and not the other way around. They're just a parade of ------- morons. Then there's this, following the town hall, CNN interviewed the audience.
CNN: Does it bother you that he keeps talking about 2020 and not 2024... How do you feel about those lies?
AUDIENCE MEMBER: So I feel like part of it's also the media narrative, as you guys asked him the first question at the town hall about the 2020 election rather than current stuff.
CNN: So don't you think it's time for him to start talking about 2024, not lies that aren't true.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Couldn't the media ask him a question about 2024?
CNN: Well, there were questions, but you're right, that was the first thing.
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Perfect. The media complains that Trump talks about the past after they ask him about the past. That's like asking a shark to leave you alone while you cover your naked body with barbecue sauce. Even CNN reported on how messed up CNN is, noting that their "network boss" is "facing a fury of criticism" within the company.
But maybe that outrage is meant to cover their tracks for having Trump on. So did this town hall help Trump for 2024? Didn't hurt. Hell, at least Trump knows where he's going compared to this fellow [Biden].
Can you imagine this confused fossil on stage for an hour getting peppered with gotcha questions from a hostile interrogator? It wouldn't be a town hall — it would be a town hanging, but with Donald Trump when he enters the lion's den, it's the lion that gets nervous.
