Kelly Clarkson said her kids are still "adamant about keeping the dream alive" of her getting back together with ex-husband Brandon Blackstock even after three years apart.
"Anytime there’s mention of him maybe being with somebody else they are just really adamant about keeping that dream alive that we might still be together — and we are never around each other," the "Stronger" singer told Glennon Doyle on her podcast, "We Can do Hard Things," Wednesday.
Clarkson said it’s hard whether you decide to stay in a difficult relationship.
But while she felt ending her relationship with her children’s father was difficult, she revealed, "I’m a better mother, like, after [the divorce]. I’m a far better mother because I think when you’re honest with yourself, you’re able to be honest with others. But sometimes you don’t know you’re lying to yourself.
"Love is tricky. It really convinces you that you’re doing the right thing. It’s just a really hard thing when you love someone so deeply to have the right answer."
Clarkson and producer Brandon Blackstock married in 2013, and she filed for divorce in 2020. They share two children — River Rose, 8, and Remy, 7.
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The 41-year-old said she doesn’t always know how to talk to her kids about her divorce with Blackstock because they have their own "separate relationship" with their father.
"I’m like, ‘I can’t give you that whole story,'" she added.
River Rose, 8, is "very smart" and "inquisitive" and "catches everything," Clarkson told Doyle, adding, "I cannot leave a hint of sarcasm on the floor. I can’t do anything. I have to be so on top of it."
Doyle revealed when her daughter was young she realized she had been staying with her ex with the intention of "good mothering when really it’s bad modeling" because she wouldn’t want her relationship for her daughter.
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Clarkson said even as a child she remembered seeing red flags in her own mother’s relationships.
"Even watching my mother in two different marriages, there’s things you pick up on even as a kid that you’re like, ‘This is unhealthy,’ right?" she said.
She added that she was on the "fence" for a long time in her marriage with Blackstock.
"The tug of, like, loving someone so deeply and the tug of, like, really needing to love yourself as much or more, and it was like, ‘I just don’t know if I can do this while still trying to do this anymore,’" she said.
Despite her divorce, Clarkson revealed she still believes people can change and doesn’t like to give up on people. She said this was instilled in her by her faith when she was young after a pastor became like a father figure to her when she didn’t have one.
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"So, for a person that hasn’t experienced that kind of love to be shown that, and you change, so that’s why I believe in it," she explained of her optimism.
"It’s a beautiful thing to see potential in people, and it’s also a beautiful thing to like not give up."